A while ago a “mom movie” came out, Bad Moms, featuring Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Christina Applegate, among others. I may possibly know most lines and have potentially watched it four or more times. Stop judging!
It starts off with a mom that is late for everything and feels like she is failing at everything – welcome to my life. She barely makes school meetings (luckily people know her by name at school and don’t confuse her with the nanny – not that this has ever happened to me or anything), she’s always tired, exhausted and … did I mention late?
And while this seems like a page from most of my friends’ life stories, that’s also reality. As moms, we work – partly because we love it and partly because we want to help provide a better life/future/example for our children. As moms, we want to do it all, not because we want to be “good” but because life is moving so fast and we don’t want to miss out on our children growing up and not needing us any longer. We don’t want to look back and wish that we had attended some silly recital or a PTA meeting where they discussed the next school Halloween Carnival. We want the real deal, not what we post on Facebook or the video we re-shot fifteen times for Snapchat!
We want our children to remember real life. And in today’s day and age where social media paints a different reality, who we are in our hearts is that much more important. Sure, we sometimes post about the things that matter – like the election or our opinions on crucial social issues – but for the most part, we all post about what we cooked/baked, places we went to, great experiences we had and so on.
And while these are moments we lived/experienced, how many times did we make them so much better for Instagram? How many times did the filters/Photoshop make our memories slightly different than what they really are?
There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just that when we look back – instead of the pretty photo we posted where our child’s perfect art project is perfectly on display – one should see the mess on the other side of the table that I am reeling from cleaning and the two t-shirts that are forever ruined (brand new may I add) because they became rags for wiping markers on. The mess we make, the mess we sometimes live in, is what makes us who we are. That’s reality.
And yes, I am late – for pretty much everything in life. I show up at my kids’ school once a year and I plan last minute birthday parties. Sometimes my life looks great; other times, it looks like the mess it really is.
But when I get home, sticky hands clamor for my face, my husband’s embrace reminds me that family is where it’s at and no Facebook moment can capture that. Those are all real life memories.
So get out there, live life, be good or bad, be late or early, stress out about being too strict or to loosey-goosey. When the time is right, share it with the world, but don’t confuse real memories with social ones!
Make sure you treat life for what it really is, sometimes great and sometimes a total MESS!
Sabina, a once social addict 🙂